Googling for "celebrity privacy" or "celebrity private lives"(I did not expect THAT to be useful at all, I was surprised) pulls, in terms of relevant results, some articles about celebrities who just don't talk much to the media or do anything interesting in public and so have managed to keep their lives on the down low, but seriously: If Mick Jagger needed hemorrhoids removed, if Taylor Swift needed an abortion, if Katy Perry were MtF, how would THAT stay quiet? Is there someone who is the opposite of a publicist, whose job it is to burn the records that say Kevin Perry, to arrange a private waiting room at a place that does not draw protestors, to call hemorrhoids-R-us from a payphone and get them to send a doctor to a be taken to an undisclosed location? ("privacy consultant" seems to be people doing information security or helping people disappear.) Whose job would it be to keep the "justin bieber may/may not have knocked someone up" story from blowing up the way it did?
Or am I just over-estimating the amount of TMZ/paparazzi effort that would go into hassling a band that kept pretty mum about the things TMZ/paparazzi are interested in?
Other terms: who keeps celebrities private (more of same), celebrity privacy assistant, celebrity scandal privacy, privacy on tour, musician privacy, privacy band (all nil).
And now the word "privacy" looks weird.