Googled: pretty much every permutation and combination of the words '19th century American etiquette culture middle class' with the occasional 'New York' and 'Utah' thrown in; searched the tags here.
What's going on: I've got a character who is from London originally, but relocated to America out of nothing more than boredom while in his early 20s. He spent some time in New York, and eventually grew bored of that as well and wandered off to Utah to see what was going on out in that direction. He made his living in law enforcement in both states, and has now returned to London after about 15 years of living abroad.
Utah especially, I think, would have coloured his behaviour a bit, and that's where I get stuck. Not wanting to go off of what I've seen in my limited experience with films that take place during this era, I can't seem to find how people would have greeted and addressed one another, and how they'd behave toward one another. All my searches have brought up info on table manners and how to behave around ladies, but nothing about how men behaved around other men.