nightrose83 (nightrose83) wrote in little_details,

Jewish Woman at a Secular Funeral?

Hi all,

While I've found a lot of handy information for anyone who is in the position of attending a Jewish funeral and needs to learn/brush up on the customs, my situation is a little different and I was hoping someone here could answer my questions, or guide me in the right direction.

Background: Setting: Futuristic (approx. 500 years from now). Situation: A Modern Orthodox Jewish woman is put into the unfortunate position of losing her young granddaughter suddenly. Her son, the girl's father, married a non-Jewish woman, and so, according to Jewish law in Orthodoxy, has fathered a child who isn't Jewish, either. He and his wife are planning a secular funeral in a funeral home.


1. Would the grandmother have any religious issue/conflicts with attending the funeral (providing it isn't on the Jewish Sabbath or any conflicting time schedule with her religious obligations)?

2. If she can't attend (I imagine that while she was very disappointed/upset with her son's choice to go secular, she tried to keep in touch), what would be considered appropriate as a show of mourning, either public or private? From everything I read, shiva wouldn't be sat because that's reserved for deceased parents, spouses or children.

3. Would she say any sort of prayers privately (or maybe at her synagogue)?

I've found a fair amount of what liberal and Reform Judaism would do, but I know the Orthodox folks operate in different ways, generally speaking. I know this is a complex issue that depends a lot of times on the family, the community, and interpersonal relationships, but I need a baseline.


Modern Orthodox Jew attending secular funeral
Jews mourning non-Jewish relatives
Mourning non-Jewish relatives when Orthodox Jewish

Thanks for any and all help, as usual!
Tags: usa (misc), ~funerals, ~religion: judaism
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