rambler75 (rambler75) wrote in little_details,

Alternate life style (D/s), ediquete, culture

I just found this site and did a search here under the relevant topics and didn't find anything. After reading your very dedicated responses I am hope you might be able to help me out.

I am going to place the rest below the cut because I am not sure how work safe this is so erring on the side of caution

I am writing a series where the characters become involved in an alternate life style. They are also lovers. And one is in Law Enforcement in a very elite section. I will call him Aaron and the other is an academic and I will call him Ned. The story generally takes place in LA but DC and Las Vegas are also or will also be where the story takes place.

At this point Ned is kind of between a Top and a Dom. He has no experience with D/s and a recent breath play scene has freaked him out. Nothing bad happened and Aaron thought it was quite good.

Aaron is a switch (some of my reading suggests this orientation is not always well accepted is this accurate?), however with Ned he is the sub. He wishes to remain that way. He suggested he talk to another person to mentor/train him. Aaron is experienced in the life style.

Ultimately I see them working up to a 24/7 relationship, (worked around their respective jobs).

A.N.: Totally apologize to early posters for a correction I tried to make to the post while buzzed on Nyqul I always forget that I can only take half a does and when I take the full dose I should just go straight to bed and not touch a key board again till morning :)


1. My reading suggests that there is a system for training both Dom and sub in the life style. Is it a formalized system? If so how does one go about finding someone to train them?

2. Who trains who? Dom-Dom, sub-sub, Dom-sub, sub-Dom?

3. I would like them to remain monogamous for now, is that practical if Ned gets trained or mentored by another person?

4. General questions for later in the series and not this particular story: What is fluid bonded?

I have talked to one person who had been in the life style for a different series, the person is no longer a viable option to answer the question.

I have also Googled various search terms over time and come away with a lot of superficial information since I have been interested in this type of relationship for writing purposes for a bit. I figure if I am going to write about it I should at least have a rudimentary understanding. I have not been able to find information that answers my questions. I have also visited one discussion community on LJ about this life style and unearthed a few good reference books which I will more than likely get in the future but are not practical or immediate at this moment. I also doubt seriously they would answer the specific questions above.

In advanced thank you for your help and I look forward to reading your post.

A/N 2:  I knew you guys would be awesome and had no idea you would be this awesome! I have stashed this where i can track it and refer to it as needed especially for the suggested reading/links.
Tags: ~sex

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