ckret2 (ckret2) wrote in little_details,

Sexual fetishes and shame

Wikipedia doesn't address the topic very well and the Google results are far too supportive.

I've got a character with a rather embarrassing sexual fetish, and need to know how said character would deal with it, what kind of "help" is out there and in what form it comes, and how other people would react to the fetish. Cut for the nasty details and a slight tl;dr.

The story itself is in a sci-fi setting and the fetish itself is sci-fi based, but saying "hes a xenophile and he lieks alienz lolol" doesn't have quite the emotional shock-factor impact on us that it would to the character and his contemporaries. So, for the sake of simplicity, we'll put this in an equivalent human setting with a nice human metaphor.

We have the Hero, who is into bestiality, is a zoophile, has a zoosexual orientation (I didn't even know that term existed before now...), whatever you want to call it. Hero, in short, screws animals. In fact, it's to the point where he cannot get sexual satisfaction unless there's an animal involved, or he can fantasize that there is.

This is, naturally, a secret Hero is keeping from everyone he knows. (Well, except the animals.) However, this is not a happy little secret that he's only keeping because he'd get lynched or something otherwise; he's dead friggen ashamed of himself, thinks that he's sick or insane, but it's one of those cases where he knows it's wrong, but dammit, he likes it anyway and he can't stop it.

And here's where I'm hitting the questions. Let's assume, once again for the sake of simplicity, that animal cruelty isn't an issue here and nobody's worried about the damage Hero could be causing the poor animals he's showering his affections upon, but merely wonder wtf is wrong with his head. So, this is the kind of stuff I'm looking for:

1) Are there any resources out there for people, or especially by people, that have been through something like Hero? (Please, don't link me to any blogs written by rabid horse fetishists. There are some things even I don't need to read.) I'm talking about confessionals of shame and self-loathing and stuff like that. First-person accounts of the emotions that people go through when they've got a particular brand of lust or desire that both their culture and they personally find flat-out WRONG, but they can't change it and don't know what to do about it.

2) Any articles, stories, memoirs, etc. by or about people reacting negatively to taboos or fetishes? Resources to the kinds of things people say, think, or feel when they find out that someone they know or, heck, even a total stranger is into something as far-out as bestiality or equivalently weird fetishes.

3) Descriptions of the type of support/help people with weird fetishes can get, from the good to the bad. Resources that list the kinds of things therapists say to help fetishists come to terms with what they've got and help them feel sane again, to show them that the fetish is okay—or the things therapists do to help them get rid of the fetishes, to show them that the fetish is a sickness. Any and all forms of treatment appreciated, though I'd prefer learning more about the bad, unsuccessful forms, particularly along the "get rid of it" vein and particularly particularly along the "dammit, that didn't get rid of it after all" vein.

Wikipedia is pretty objective about discussing fetishes and paraphilia, which is all well and good except I need to know what happens when controversy comes in. The Google results I'm getting are too damn nice for their own good and queries involving terms like fetish, shame, help, therapy, get me results with columnists being careful not to step on anybody's toes by saying "to each his own" and "there are a LOT of people with interests and fantasies like you" and occasionally I find some "oh by the way here's a list of common fetishes to gauge your own interests by and/or uncommon fetishes for us internet dorks to laugh at." Which isn't what I need. And anything that ISN'T that, is usually a discussion of what a fetish is, why some people are into it, and the fact that a lot of people don't like it and think it's gross. Like encyclopedia entries. Not helpful.

Once again, I'm not looking for lists of fetishes, or forums full of people who are into that sort of thing; I'm writing a character who's isolated, alone, totally and utterly ashamed, and as far as he knows the only person alive who's into the kind of wacky, nasty, disgusting, sick stuff. He's not gonna be running into any helpful Internet support groups.
Tags: ~sex

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